On Wednesday, Kathleen will have her 20-week ultrasound, and we will find out whether Creature is a boy or a girl. It could be seen as impolitic for me to state a preference, so I won’t declare it publicly1. Though I’ve often heard expectant parents say “As long as it’s healthy, I don’t care,” I think if you held a gun to their heads then most would cop to having a preference one way or the other2.
It’s a major milestone along the dad-to-be path. There is so much in the first 20 weeks that is conceptual in nature, revealing boy/girl helps to reify this a bit for me3. Among other things, we will be able to replace the unsavory pronoun ‘it” with a definitive personal pronoun4, which also helps things snap into focus.
For me, it was never a consideration to not find out the sex. There are people who hide the information from themselves to relish the surprise once the baby comes. I am not one of these people. I like to operate in the world with as much information as possible, and even though there are no certainties in something as delicate as a pregnancy, knowing son or daughter helps me put context around something that has been largely abstract for more than four months.
Early on, Kathleen and I were discussing learning the sex. She had it in mind that the surprise would be fun5. This was a bit of a philosophical divide. I told her the best I could offer her was for me to find out and keep it a secret from everyone, including her. She didn’t like the sound of this6 and then quickly agreed that we should learn the sex together.
Kathleen and I have also been holding off on any serious name discussions until we find out boy or girl, simply because we can eliminate 50% of the competition when we have more information. We do have a starter list for each sex with a few top candidates, but we only refer to it casually. Something tells me on the ride home from the ultrasound; we’ll be diving much deeper into the name game than ever before. I don’t expect to have a name picked out by the time we get back to our driveway, but you never know. Sometimes things just click.
- Kathleen and I do have a preference, and we are on the same page, here; it’s actually part of the reason we want to find out. If Creature turns out to not be the sex we’re hoping for, then we get plenty of time to adjust to the new expectation.
- However, I’m confident that once we find out we’ll happily settle into our new upcoming family member no matter what we learn.
- It is, and has been for some time, very concrete for Kathleen. But I’m not the pregnant one.
- Though I suspect Creature will be a lifelong term of endearment.
- This from a woman who is always too excited to wait to give you a birthday present on your actual birthday
- She believes that she would have worn me down, getting me to cough up the info in a matter of days. Probably true.